The picture wouldn't be complete without a few words about our mother, such a central figure in our family. We were very fortunate that our father's mother was so savvy with matchmaking. When she heard that our mother was going to the University of Chicago, she gave our mother a package to hand deliver to my father, who was single and already at the university; this ruse worked. Even though our father was three hours late for their first date (because he was absorbed in a lab experiment), our mother fortunately still gave him a chance. Perhaps it was the three apples he brought to her when she had a cold that won her over. Later when he had saved some extra money, he asked her if she preferred a car or a phonograph/radio player. A lover of classical music and opera, she opted for the later; this played music for years the house and still sits in their home. They married in 1960 at the Theological Seminary on 58th Street and University after she received her Masters Degree in Theology.
Although our mother is not as publicly lauded as our father is, her accomplishments are no less impressive; she would refute this. She raised us four girls, feeding and clothing us (literally sewing dresses, overalls, and shirts, and crocheting ponchos), playing with us and disciplining us (although the discipline decreased exponentially with each daughter). When we were still quite young, she decided to start working. She taught Japanese in our home and did translation for the Chinese Students Association. And then, on her own, with no formal training, she started her own freelance Japanese interpreting business. She worked for a diverse spread of companies: McDonald's Hamburger University, Boeing, USPS, Alzheimer associations, automobile companies, farms, consulting firms, to name a few. She traveled for work to Japan, all over the the United States, Europe, and Mexico. She additionally served as impromptu host and guide to these groups of high level Japanese businessmen, teaching them the histories of the towns they visited or lecturing about different aspects of US history. She would thoroughly research each company, becoming proficient in the concepts and terms used in each specialty, such as jet engine building or pig farming, so that her simultaneous translation became seamless. One perk that we enjoyed was that she often took jobs in New York where Tzufen, Tzuming and I lived at various times, so we could meet at her hotel and enjoy a few dinners together. She became well sought after as an interpreter; it was no surprise that many companies lamented when she retired 20 some years later.
Even with such an active work life, I cannot remember one moment to this day that my mother has not had time for her daughters, to drive us somewhere, to send a package (care packages from her of specialty Asian treats were the envy of all our friends), to answer a financial questions (one of her fortes), to simply chat or to mend a jacket. I can honestly say that I have never heard her say the words, "Can I call you back later?" or "No, I'm too busy to do that for you." Similarly she supported our father in his endeavors, hosting many Taiwan events in our home and caring for us girls when he was at work or out of town.
One thing I did hear our mother say was, "Just do something." (usually in response to a young adult whine, "I'm bored"). This statement characterizes her perfectly. She has always taken on whatever was before her and created situations to make her life fulfilling. She never relies on others or external circumstances to enjoy her life or to be happy. She has always been open to new ideas, willing to try things out whether it was traveling to a new place, yoga, a new type of food, or some new technology.
Our mom embodies lots of seemingly contradictory characteristics. Always independent, she doesn't feel the need to seek out company, yet she is vivacious and social in a group; her cheerful laughter can fill a room. She rarely lingers in a state of doubt and is very outspoken, but doesn't have arrogance. She is completely giving of her time and energy to all of us, but never a martyr. She loves unconditionally without ever being overly attached. She somehow manages to be tremendously easy-going and, simultaneously, extremely strong-minded. She is small and adorable, but fierce and strong.
And we love her for that.
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